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I had confessed my emotional need for sexual passion and a fetish for verbal humiliation. She had confessed her inability to refrain from teasing other men, and her intense desire to seduce other women. The main concession was the decision to open our marriage. She allowed me to date other women. I allowed her to explore her polyamorous nature with other men and women. As she jumped at the chance to fulfill bisexual desires repressed for years, I tried to find the balance between intimacy and eroticism. We started with The Ethical Slut as our guidebook, embraced the epithet, and threw ourselves into the wild world of swinging and polyamory. Lilly was a 'switch' - dominant with other women, but submissive with men. My natural passivity frustrated her. To be honest, it frustrated both of us, but we dealt with it differently. I dealt with it mainly by spending hours fantasizing about seductive women. She coped by logging on to OKCupid and Fetlife in search of voluptuous women and more. I slipinto my panties and bra. I don't stuff the bra too much-- just enough togive me some curves. By the time I'm pulling the stockings up my thighs,I usually have a pretty big hard-on inside my white cotton panties. I run my hands up inside my bra and feel my nipples standing up perkyalready, then sometimes I rub my cock a little through my panties.Jennifer does things like that-- things Gary would never do. I finish it up with whatever clothes I've taken from Mom, often a floralprint dress from Laura Ashley, and my only pair of girl shoes-- a set ofwhite pumps. When I'm done I know I look more like a British girl at a country clubthan a 17-year-old transvestite in a drag bar in Boston, but I like thelook, and you can't be too picky. I'm just happy I get to be here andthat I found something that makes my dick so hard. It's the fact that this is so illicit that excites me too. While I'mputting on girl clothes in the bathroom stall, I might whisper to myself"This is so wrong," and it.
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